Relationship Tip: Do Your Due Diligence Before You Commit.
- Relationship Tip
- January 20, 2016
Today’s blog is an excerpt from my soon to be released book Further, Faster, Together! Hope you enjoy.
Luke 14: 28-30
For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it— 29 lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, 30 saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish’?
Consider the Cost!!!!
Relationship Tip:
“Never be so desperate for companionship and company that you don’t do your due diligence. Always pre-qualify and check references!”
Relational due diligence is very important, because it will save you time and heart break in the long run. When V and I were going to buy a house, the realtor asked us to prequalify with a mortgage company. I asked him why and he said: “First of all, to determine how much house you can afford and secondly, so that you don’t waste my time or yours!” This principle applies to relationships too. Always pre-qualify. Never be so desperate for companionship and company that you don’t do your due diligence. Additionally, pre-qualification is necessary for your heart’s protection.
Additionally you should be clear who you are and more importantly what type of person you are most compatible with. The following story underscores the importance of doing due diligence, self-knowledge and compatibility. The following is an excerpt of a conversation that took place on a first date.
“What kind of man are you looking for?” She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking. “Do you really want to know?” Reluctantly, he said, “Yes.”
She began to expound, “As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can’t do for myself. I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man. I am in the position to ask, ‘What can you bring to the table?’”
The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money. She quickly corrected his thought and stated, “I am not referring to money. I need something more.” I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life.” He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain.
She said, “I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection mentally because I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don’t need a simple-minded man.
I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection spiritually because I don’t need to be unequally yoked . . . believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster.
I need a man who is striving for perfection financially because I don’t need a financial burden.
I am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded.
I am looking for someone whom I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn’t taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive . . . he just has to be worthy. God made woman to be a helpmate for man. I can’t help a man if he can’t help himself.”
When she finished her spiel, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, “You’re asking a lot.” She replied, “I’m worth a lot.”[i]
Boom!
Know your self worth and do your due diligence.
Love,
Dr. Phelps
PS: Check out my website and pre-order your copy of Further, Faster, Together at a discount today @ www.kennethdphelps.com
[i] Ross Cochran, “Genesis 26:34–35—INCOMPATIBLE!,” Words Of Life (Blog), Accessed May 25, 2015, https://pastorross1.wordpress.com/2011/10/13/genesis-2634–35-–-incompatible/.
Wanda J. Sabbs
Never be pressured into doing anything you are uncomfortable doing. If your conscience will not allow you to commit to something or someone be TRUE TO YOURSELF!!! After all GOD IS THE ONLY ONE you will have to answer too!!!
Peace!!!
Kenneth Phelps
Hey Wanda! Thanks for your comment. Good word of wisdom! Have a great day! Dr. Phelps